Thursday, June 16

1st Time EVER

 . .  . getting a family picture with everyone looking at the camera AND smiling! Yay! We had pictures done with our family photographer, Amanda Joy Photography. Remember she is the one that we won the photo contest with at the beginning of the year, Best of 2010.  It was time to have some pictures taken as we were celebrating many special occasions: Bradley turning 5, Cameron turning 1, Baby Davis' pregnancy, our 10th wedding anniversary, and Austin is 2.5! That is a lot of stuff to pack into one photo session, but I think she did it. Here is our sneak peak. Check out her blog or scroll down and see the few pictures. We highly recommend her for your photography needs; she is awesome!

Wednesday, June 15

Take 10,379 and couting . . .

It seems like it takes that many pictures to get a decent one- and by decent I mean I may be fortunate, at the end of an at-home photo session, to have ONE where all 3 kids are looking. I can't imagine what it's going to be like with FOUR children, 5 and under. I'm thinking I may have to starting taking pictures of just 2 at a time. . . . we shall see. By now, I know that you can NOT try to plan anything with children because they can be soooo unpredictable.
So, I was just going to give you a glimpse into what it takes to get one cute picture. I was home alone with the kids, getting ready for swim lessons on the last day. They were very excited and running around with their bathing suits on- that yes, coordinated. Hey, if I have to buy clothes then I may as well buy them stuff that matches- makes it easier to keep up with them when we're off too- because I know exactly what colors to look for if someone tries to run off and I'm constantly going down the alphabet making sure everyone is accountable for- just the mommy in me! :-)

Take 1- Gave A the sunglasses to make him happy, put the bow in C's hair, and told Bradley to hold her . . . it's a NO GO. Let's try again. . .

Told the boys to pay attention,  told B not to hold C this time,  put her beside B, and grabbed the camera. Then, look who decides to lie down- no go again folks. Again?

Finally the boys are smiling and looking- so cute, but what is C looking at?

We have success- everyone is looking! But can I get one where everyone is smiling?

Almost! Where is C's bow though?!?!? The boys are saying, "cheese". Good news, A has started to improve a lot with pictures just in time for C to go through  a bad picture phase. She does well if it's just her, and I can focus on only her. And, realize I actually took about 20 pictures on this day- this is just a glimpse for you into the chaos. It's fun though. And, we were all ready early. Loaded up in the car and off we went to swim lessons. More to come on that later!

Monday, June 6

L & D Trip

Yesterday, I was having some issues. Some pressure down low, frequent urination (but no burning like a uti- the pressure was causing it), was fine when I laid down for the most part, but when I stood for more than a few minutes I'd have this sharp sensation that would cause me to double over because it felt like I was going to pee on myself. Davis wasn't moving as much as usual. He was breach a couple of weeks ago and my other babies have never been in that position this late. So, for a couple of weeks now I haven't felt like I was emptying my bladder, getting up several times a night to go "potty", and having frequent kicks to the bladder  . . . and while I've become to grow accustomed to that it was very different yesterday.  It felt like the baby was kicking or hitting this nerve that was directly attached to my bladder and it was quite uncomfortable- he seemed lower too. So, after fighting it all day I called the on call doctor which turned out to be the OB that delivered the triplets. She advised me to go to Richland, get on the monitor, and get everything checked out due to my history. So, we made our way up there - all the while trying NOT to be sick to our stomachs as the possibility that I may not be going back home with this sweet baby still in my tummy but all along thinking SURELY after this many children and pregnancies I'd know if something were really long- and just the thought of that place and our history there it's surprising that we are able to not empty everything in our stomachs when entering those halls. I'd hoped that after a good delivery with Cameron and it being 2.5 years since we were there living in what we thought was pure hell that things would be improved. W.R.O.N.G. Turns out post-traumatic stress disorder, which is the only way to really describe our emotions at Palmetto Health Richland, never truly goes away- just goes silent until you have to go through the motions of what caused it in the 1st place.
I was monitored, prodded, and cathed- AND after 4 long hours sent back home. Everything looked great. They aren't really sure what was causing the issues- could be his position or could be scar tissue from past c-sections pulling as my uterus grows. It has been better today- still there but some improvement thankfully. I was scheduled to go to the doctor this week anyway for an Ob appointment and another ultrasound, so I'll still do that.  I don't have anymore restrictions and am free to do whatever I was doing before. Praying I have another few more weeks of pregnancy before I end up there again. Everyone loves a full term baby, but Chris and I just say we'll be happy to get past 32 weeks- which is a little over a week from now- you don't have to worry about eye and ear issues and things are just overall much, much better than what we went through with Austin. Less than 6 weeks to go until Davis is full term. Yay! So thankful everything looked good, and we're still going strong!
On a fun note, a sweet friend is giving me a shower next week and I'm sooo excited and blessed by my wonderful friends. I was so blown away, after having so many children, that anyone would even think to give me one.  She sweetly told me that everyone can use diapers and wipes and since Davis is being born in a totally different season than my other children he'll need some clothes and other things that may be worn out or you can't pass down. So, after yesterday there is no reason to think that I won't still be "truckin' along" and can enjoy it.  Hope everyone can make it! And, thank you, thank you, thank you Michelle for continuing to be such a blessing in my life!
That's all folks!

Thursday, June 2


Found this poem. We have another poem written by this father of quads, Jolly Old St NICU, given to us on Austin's first Christmas by my brother and sister-in-law. It was right after we'd lost our 2 youngest children and Austin was in the NICU for what we knew would be a long time after already being there for over a month. We were all too familiar with the NICU at that point and the poem hit so close to home.
So, the other day I found this poem written by this same man. Like I said he is the father of quads, but only 3 remain on Earth.  He wrote this poem for his daughter, Emily, that went to be with God around the age of 1 month old.  It speaks volumes for mine and Chris' emotions. They still continue to be all over the place, some good days and some bad days. We struggle with do we just be happy that our children are safe in Heaven or is it ok to wish that they were here with us? 
Christopher Brayden and Alexis Faith, not a day goes by that Daddy and Mama don't think of you several times a day. We have faith in our Lord that we will see you again and be with our Heavenly Father and you for all of eternity. We strive daily to live right while continuing to believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for us so that we may have everlasting life. As your oldest brother says, "We have Jesus in our heart."  I don't think there is any other way to make it past this journey than to have full trust in God's plan. We believe in His awesome grace and strength, seeing that He will carry us through anything- the things we do or don't want to believe that we could make it through. That being said, we are humans and not fully able to understand why we were placed on Earth to go through something like this- what we believe has to be the hardest thing that any human ever has to go through.
I recently spoke to a fellow mother of a micro preemie. Her son is 5 now, but has celebrated every birthday with Jesus. She said she has the same feelings- you learn to cope with the loss, but still miss them as desperately as you did the day they passed if not more. I believe I miss them more now than I did then, because as time passes it has been that much longer since I held my children in my arms. Can you fathom not being able to hold your child in your arms for almost 2.5 years? Another mother, I know, lost her infant son 20-something years ago. She said not one day goes by that she doesn't think of him and miss all the memories that she was never able to make. She isn't sure that ever gets any easier.  This poem, that I'm sharing, depicts our emotions so well. While we are grateful that our children are safe with our Lord, and continue to live life enjoying all of our many blessings- we still continue to feel as though something is missing as the minutes, hours, days, and weeks go by.

Even if you’re dancing with King David
And even if you touch the Savior’s Face
And even if you walk right next to Abraham
In a world that’s marked by joy and peace and grace….

And even though our lives are filled with laughter
And even though we celebrate each day
And even though we can’t believe how good things are
In this life that’s oh so rich in every way…

And even if our longing makes no sense to you
And even if you know no death or pain
And even if you’re happy every moment
In a place where all life’s problems leave no stain…

And even though we’ve had some time to catch our breath
And even though death’s sting does start to leave
And even though the future seems so bright to us
In this dwelling where it seems so odd to grieve…

And even if you’re smiling down upon us now
And even if you wait with open arms
And even if the thought of time seems foolish
In that realm that’s free from all our cares and harms…

Oh, even though we speak of you with fondness
And even though we proudly say your name
And even though we send your kisses skyward
One heartfelt thought still lingers all the same…

We just miss holding you

–written by Daddy, 12/31/06, after one full calendar year of missing our little girl