November

It's November. It has been 3 years, some days 3 LONG years and some days it seems as though it was only yesterday. When I think about how long it has been since those 3 sweet babies were inside of me, alive and well, it doesn't even seem real.  . . kinda wondered if I dreamed it all? Were we really expecting triplets? Did God bless us with 3 children all at once?

Thank God one of those precious miracle is still with us to love on each and every second of every day- and I do mean every second because he doesn't sleep - it's really weird- but nevertheless I can't help but be grateful that I can love on him 24-7. He often comes to our bed during the night and we find him sleeping soundly between us, and it's so hard to take him back to his bed sometimes. I always seem to quickly be able to remember those raw emotions of his time in the NICU and just praying that he'd make it and live. We'd see that he was doing truly remarkable for his gestational age despite the daily too often scares, but it was so hard to believe that we'd actually get to watch him grow up. And, now we're doing just that. Austin needs to grow a little better (he was only 22 pounds 14 ounces at the dr a few weeks ago), but we just can't help to be grateful that he is here, his tiny self and all. 

November is a time when others remember what they're grateful for as they celebrate the holiday Thanksgiving. We are truly grateful for our life as a family. Our 6 children mean more to my husband and me than we will ever be able to put into words. I could spend everyday stating something else that I'm thankful for when it comes to mothering these 4 babies. I'd be lying though if I didn't say that at the same time my heart yearns to mother my other 2 children. I will always and forever be a mother to six children: Bradley, Austin, Brayden, Alexis, Cameron, and Davis. I sometimes daydream what it'd be like to have all 6 here. Life would be crazy but oh so blessed.

I'm rambling. I'm sorry. There is so much I want to say, and I can't type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. This blog is such a source of healing for me, because not everyone can handle talking about it. I love when someone can handle it though, because it helps so much.  Grief is something that I don't wish on anyone and yet know that everyone will experience it on some level in their life. I pray though that no one has to experience the grief of losing a child. We just aren't built for this. One person described our journey as being "thrown a curve ball." And, that frustrates me because until you experience the loss of a child you truly have no idea.. . I really try to remind myself that people sometimes just don't think things through before they say them and sometimes make absent minded comments.  I describe it more like the pitcher hitting the batter. That is probably the best analogy to describe the hurt and emotions that we've experienced if you stick to the baseball analogies.  I say we aren't built for it- but what we are built for is to lean on God and we've done just that. We've leaned, cried, screamed, been carried, etc over the last 3 years. And, perhaps this was God's will because he wanted us to learn to FULLY rely on Him. I'm not sure I'll ever know what the reason is for all this- maybe in Heaven, but maybe in Heaven it won't matter. Perhaps we will be so busy worshipping God and fully enjoying that- that all hurt will be erased forever from our minds.

So, it's November. An absolutely beautiful time of year. I love the fall. So much to do and you get to see God's beauty everyday during autumn. .. . ~ deep blue skies ~ gorgeous autumn leaves in hues of orange, yellow, and red ~the cool breeze is so refreshing. Then, there are all the wonderful things like warm fires and hot chocolate that warm our souls as we prepare for the holiday season. A special time to make memories with family picking apples, the SC State Fair, picking pumpkins, trick-or-treating, college football, and just enjoying the nice weather as a family fills our calendar every year during fall. So, we're always assured that God will fill our heart with many good thoughts before, during, and after this hard month. God is so good!  I'm so thankful for our awesome God who made the ultimate sacrifice for us, my wonderful husband and life partner in every way, and my six beautiful children.What do you have to be thankful for?

Christmas Shopping

Yes, I've already started our Christmas shopping. About a month ago I did some shopping on Amazon. Worked out great- free shipping, arrives in a couple of days, and oh. so. easy. . I L.O.V.E. Internet shopping, especially with the fact that we have 4 children 5 and under . . . 3 of which are under 3! :-) Anyway, I have my little spreadsheet in Excel that has all the kid's names and what they're getting. Helps for several reasons:
1. Reminds me what I've gotten, if for some reason everything isn't in the same spot when it comes time to wrap or put out on Christmas Eve.
2. Helps make sure everything is equal cost wise, because we do believe in that. We love them (the kids) all the same right?!?! And, it isn't hard to do. So, why not?
3. We give each child 3 presents and a stocking, then they get one combined present from their siblings. The other siblings get to pick it out- it will be more fun as they grow older. Then, they exchange the presents on Christmas Eve- great tradition and wasn't started Austin's 1st Christmas at home.  Not sure if I wrote last year about the 3 presents, but we hope it will help our children remember the reason for the season. Our children get so much from all 3 sets of grandparents, aunt/uncles, friends, etc.. . so we just don't want their memory of the holidays to be all about the massive number of presents. So, the spreadsheet helps me make sure everyone has the same number as well.
4. Then, I also lists the other people we buy for and list what they're getting as well. I try to keep all the grandparents equal as well as our nieces/nephew.
So my spreadsheet may be a little crazy, but it really helps me stay organized and with 4 little ones that is absolutely necessary. :-)
So, yes I've started shopping and not too far away form being done.  Want to know what other awesome website I'm using? Zulily It's pretty cool. Everyday at 9am they have a new lists of deals in housewares, personalized items, kids and women's attire, books, toys etc. Most everything has been a good deal. Then, you buy it . . . tax free, ship it, and it arrives on your doorstep with no hassle. I use paypal to pay which is another awesome site, but you may also just use a credit card, which is what paypal is- I just don't have to take the time to type in my info over and over. So, check out the link and see what you find. How awesome would it be to finish your shopping before Thanksgiving, so you can sit back, worship God, and just enjoy the holidays with your family?!??! By the way, their is a free app for the site on my phone- too cool when I can exercise and shop at the same time? It's all about multi tasking these days.

Mommy "Down" Time

(courtesy of Amanda Joy Photography)



So, when these precious little things aren't taking up every minute and I need some ME time I've been checking out this new found obsession: Pinterest! It's very cool. It has everything from crafts to recipes, holiday ideas, fun stuff for the kids, decorating tips, and I've even found some great exercises on there to help get me back in shape. Chris and I've been on there hunting for ideas for the new house, and it has given us some fun couple, quality time together day dreaming.  :-) Pinterest is a virtual pin board that allows people to post something cool they found on the Internet to this one home site. Then, your friends can copy the idea to their boards to keep. You can sync the website with Facebook, Google, Twitter, etc to find your friends or you can go on the main board and look at people's, that you don't know, pins. It's a pretty cool concept. However, I have to limit my time on there or else I could spend waaaaayy TOO much time on the site. Enjoy!

TWO months

Yes, it has been over 2 months since I posted my last post. And, I'm so sorry but life is very busy and I'm just trying to soak in these moments to remember for the rest of my life. Davis Matthew arrived on July 29th a healthy 8 pounds 1 ounce and 20.75 inches. He was our biggest baby at only 37 weeks (no that isn't early, but he was our earliest term baby so I didn't expect him to be that big). However, the ultrasonographer warned that he would be big the day before- and I should have known to trust this woman because she is awesome! Davis did great with absolutely no issues at birth. The delivery at Lexington was awesome and truly a wonderful way for us to finish off our family. . . yes I just said that. . . yes, I'm crazy and saddened by it becasue we were planning to shoot for #5 before we finished off our bunch. However, we can't say for sure that God won't bring another child into our hearts another way. There were complications, with me, during the delivery involving uterine windows that were close to uterine rupture, scar tissue, and hemorrahging from the uterine arteries. The doctor also had trouble closing up my uterus (getting the stitches to hold), so it bought me a night with close monitoring in L&D and the suggestion to not have anymore kids if I wanted to be around to raise them. It's rather hard to come to terms with when you aren't allowed to make the decision on your own, but we're enjoying our 4 children that God has given us to raise and trying to make the most of every moment. I'm praying that God gives us peace about it and that this was just his BIG way to say that no more children were going to come from our bodies. We've been blessed beyond meausre to have bore SIX children and it's absolutely amazing to watch these 4 together. I have to say that I LOVE having 4 kids. It's awesome and definitely fufills the desire that God has always placed in our hearts.
The last 2 months has been a whirlwind of sleep deprivation, fun, and craziness- but all in wonderful ways. Davis has grown exponentially regardless of the protein allergies that all of our babies have. His started later than any of the others, but alas it reared it's ugly head. I was able to nurse him for a month and tried the dairy free diet, but every day that passed with the diet he worsened leading us to believe that he also had a soy protein allergy.  That diet would be almost impossible for me to do, take in enough calories to nurse, with our busy lives of having 4 children. At Davis' well visit he was in the 95% for his height and weight at 24+ inches and over 13 pounds. Yay! I love big babies with all their sweet rolls. He moved to his room to start sleeping at night and for some naps last week when he was almost 10 weeks old. And, has improved a lot with his sleep. He is putting him to sleep for naps as well as at bedtime at night. He sleeps most night till 3am and then will go again to 6am on a good night. And, then gets up for good at about 730.  His naps are about an hour long and are frequently throughtout the day- some in his crib and some in the swing downstairs.
The bigger kids have adjusted well to our new addition. Bradley started school when Davis was 2 weeks old. And, the whole family has done great on our new "early" schedule. School has been good for Bradley as well as the rest of the family. I'll have to talk more about school later. Austin and Cameron have a lot of fun playing together during the day. We've been busy with Bradley's soccer, Chris' work, and getting our house ready to sale. Yes, we always have so much going on. We love our neighborhood and neighbors so much, but it's time to move on to a house that better fits our big family. AKA bigger laundry room, a mudroom, no wasted space such as a study/living room, and 2 bathrooms for the kids instead of the one with only one sink. The house may even be a little smaller than our current one. We meet with the designer in a couple of weeks. Chris and I have started to diet- more like make a lifestyle change and eat healthier. We're eating at home almost all the time at dinner and that has been good as well. We also have started serving the kids the same meal we're having. The 2 middle one have been very receptive to it, but the big one NOT. SO. MUCH. He is sooo picky. I hope he will come around eventually; until then he just has to be hungry until the next morning. No worries though as he is still maintaining his weight somehow. He is served whole milk and we be sure that they all have fruit as well.
There is a lot more going on around here too- plans for pumpkin and apple picking, the fair, the zoo, picnics, and walks. We've enjoyed the wonderful fall weather with lots of time outdoors. I've started exercising again and it's WONDERFUL. I still have a lot of work to do, but I'm just happy to be trying. We have birthdays coming up: Daddy and Austin. So, there is party planning going on. Halloween and the holidays are right around the corner, and we've started Christmas shopping. LOVE this time of year, and we get to enjoy it with our newest little blessing and well as the other 3!. Can't get any better than that. Just wanted to let everyone know that we are alive and well. Sorry this is so quick, but more WILL come later!

Tomorrow!

The BIG day is almost here! ONE more night. I think I can make it! This pregnancy has been great, but lately I can barely pick up the kids- which is a must when they are so young like Austin and Cameron. The swelling and ligament pain (which I'm told gets worse with each pregnancy) is limiting me a lot these days. However, I've made it and am just rolling with the punches.
I have a ton of things I want to do before going to bed tonight, so this will be a short and sweet update.  I'm delivering tomorrow at LMC (yes that is a change for us, but an exciting one after going through so many hard things at Richland). I'm scheduled for noon and hopefully Davis will be out by 1- it took a long time for my high risk OB to get to Cameron due to scar tissue- hoping the ligament pain is actually that and not scar tissue. I had my last appointment today and Davis looked well. He is measuring very big; 97% and 8 pounds 10 ounces. This is just an estimate, after taking several measurements, and not actually guaranteed and could be 10% off either way. I'm expecting him to be 7 something as B was 7lb 5 oz and C was 7lbs 2 oz, both delivered at 38 weeks.  Davis will be a few days earlier than them too.
So, we have a babysitter lined up for the other kids and Chris will be with them the rest of the time. I'm praying ABC handle Mama being away well since I'm always with them- praying I handle it well too since I feel like my place is at home with my family. I know it will be for just a few days and a must to get this sweet miracle here and home, and we can make it past anything for a short time. Emotions are running a little high as well as anxiety. I keep trying to push everything out of my mind and ask God for His peace and grace as I know that is the only place it can come from.
Update on everyone else. . .  I pick up B's school class assignment later today. He starts school in just a few weeks which I'm anticipating to be a bigger change for our family than adding Baby Davis. Bradley seems excited, but a little hesitant as expected. He isn't much of a worrier, because I've just always told him to not worry and ask God for help- and so far that has worked. He truly believe everything I tell him- so scary how children can be molded and shaped by us so easily. Bradley is very excited about the baby.  A is talking all the time. He has so much to say, and sometimes it's all I can do not to just stare and marvel at how well he is doing. He hasn't grown, but that is just how Austin is. His tonsils could be causing issues with that, and his ENT is setting him up for a sleep study. He has a feeling Austin's tonsils are causing some breathing difficulty at night even though the pulse ox study showed he was fine. A sleep study on Austin won't be an easy task though, so many prayers needed for that.  Austin is also really growing up from a toddler to a little boy, and it's so hard to believe. His little sister is growing up as well from a baby to a toddler. C has been walking for awhile and uses that as her sole transportation now.  She signs a lot and really understands what we are saying to her.  She is saying new words everyday as well. She has been very easy to discipline, and while she may cry when we tell her "no", she does listen. She continues to be a great eater and will beg for a salad which I've always loved as well. Her hair is really growing and getting thick, so I have to keep some type of barrette in her hair to keep it out of her face. I just can't believe how much "ABC" have grown over the summer and am so excited to add "D" to the mix.
I'm not sure how long it will be before something is posted here, so if you are on Facebook look me up and add me as a friend if you haven't already. We will post to there rather quickly since it's so easy. Thank you all for the prayers!

Showered with Blessings

Right before Father's Day my sweet friend, Michelle, gave me a wonderful little shower to help celebrate Baby Davis.  I was very excited to see all of my favorite girls and hang out a little bit before Davis arrives. We went to M Vista, downtown, and it was very yummy. We enjoyed appetizers, salads, and delicious meals. Then, our waiter surprised me with a delicisous chocolate mousse dessert that reminded me of cheesecake.  And, we also enjoyed a very tasty cake. Michelle thought of every little detail to make it special inclucding sweet, little bags of surprises full of chocolate for everyone to take home. After dessert I opened a ton of presents that I'm very grateful for- lots of diapers, wipes, new clothes for Davis, and much more.  All of it will definitely come in handy! Our boy stuff is getting worn out and is the wrong season since Bradley and Austin came home in March. After presents we took some group pictures, so I can always remember what a great time I had celebrating our sweet blessing with a few family and lots of friends! Thank you everyone for making sure that even after 5 kids, # 6, is just as special as #1! He is one blessed little boy!

Enjoying my dessert that the waiter surprised me with

(and looking a little bloated- some days the fluid retention is awful and some days I barely have any)

The yummy cake!

Belly Shot

special handmade presents

I loved this present from Davis' Aunt Beth- she spends a good bit of time with the kids, always being sure to stop by at least once a week for a visit, and we're so grateful to have her and Uncle Michael in our life!

~more wonderful presents~

handmade quilt from Nanny and Papa

Group Photo Op

And, a picture outside M Vista- it was such a fun night and I'm so grateful for all of these special ladies in my life! Love ya'll!

Swim Lessons

Bradley and Austin took swim lessons together in June; it was the 1st time for both of them. By the end of the week Bradley was jumping in the pool, on his own, and swimming to the instructor in the deep end. And, Austin was holding his breathe and gliding underwater back and forth to us.  Both boys are proficient now in opening their eyes under water and holding their breathe! Bradley can also swim over to the side of the pool and hold on. That was an important thing, per Ms. Laverne, as it could save some children.  Ms. Laverne was great.  How wonderful that she is a special education teacher during the school year and completely comfortable with Austin's needs.  He, however, did just as well as any 2 year old- even with breathing which we didn't know how it would go due to his lung disease.  The boys went Monday through Friday for one hour each day with 2 other children.  Cameron did well floating in the pool and hanging out with some of the neighbors while Mama assisted with Austin. I wasn't sure how it would go with the boys, but was so impressed and proud at their willingness to try something new. Next year, Cameron will be excited to take lessons with the boys and Davis will be watching from the sidelines.

Go Bradley Go!

Cameron loves the pool and sun!

Austin going to Daddy on the afternoon that he was able to be there

Such a happy girl!

Bradley getting those legs up

Austin reaching for Daddy