A perfect world

In a perfect world the Devil would not interfere. We would not face the hurt of day to day life on Earth. But, alas, we’re promised a great reward in Heaven as the ultimate goal at which to work towards.


MAT 5:12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

In a perfect world the trials and tribulations of infertility, miscarriages, and burying children wouldn’t be known to us. Others would understand why we don’t spend much, if anytime, away from our children that are still with us. After all we’ve been through we recognize that they won’t be with us forever and feel as though it’d be selfish to put our needs, which are few and far between, ahead of our children’s needs.

In a perfect world Austin’s adjusted birthday (March 13th) would be closer to his actual birthday, and he’d celebrate it with his brother and sister, Brayden and Lexi. The 1st anniversary of the date we brought him home, March 9th, would have been the date we brought home 3 of our children. We wouldn’t know of the NICU journey and being away from Austin for 108 days while he stayed in the hospital. We wouldn’t know the anxieties of bringing home a “special needs” child on oxygen and monitors. The week-to week therapies wouldn’t even cross our minds nor would the anxieties of keeping our miracle preemie well. “Preemie-ese” would be a universal language and all would understand the difference between actual and adjusted age, know why Austin isn’t walking yet, and understand he is just like a 12 month old.

In a perfect world we wouldn’t be unsure of what emotions the delivery of our 5th child would bring as far as how we’ll cope with being in the same places that we were when we delivered the triplets and lost 2 of them. We wouldn’t cringe when people say things such as “oh you’re finally getting a girl” and it would be recognized that we have an older daughter that came before Cameron. Our family and friends would be comfortable recognizing that we have 2 more children that are no longer with us on earth but forever our children. They would speak freely of Brayden and Lexi’s names and realize how much it helps us regardless of the discomfort it may bring them. All would know that Cameron is our 2nd daughter. It would be so much easier for others to understand how much of a miracle each of our children are for their own special reasons. We wouldn’t be absolutely fearful of having more children after Cameron.

However, this isn’t a perfect world and God never promised it would be. The Bible does say this: Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

So, we continue to gain strength from our Lord. His words says, “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”: 1 Peter 5:10

And, it has been oh so true. We’re amazed of all the blessings we have received since our journey began a couple of years ago of starting a family. This phase of our life has been the most difficult of any, but it has brought so many blessings along with it . . . EACH of our 5 children.

Cameron’s delivery date has been moved up to tomorrow, Thursday, March 18th. My doctor is planning to do a c-section early in the day. The date has been moved up after last week’s ultrasound estimated her to be 8lbs 6oz at only 37 weeks putting her in the 93rd percentile. This can be off by 10%, but it still made the doctor nervous due to my history. The extra amniotic fluid, polyhydramnios, hasn’t gone down either making it more likely that something go wrong the further they let me go due to the size that it causes my uterus to stretch to. We’ve also been warned that she may have trouble controlling her sugar due to my being insulin dependent and having polyhydramnios as well as some lung immaturity. However these risks aren’t as worrisome as those if the pregnancy is allowed to progress. I’ll be 38 weeks and that is full-term as anything 37 or after is term. So, tomorrow we’ll be adding a new addition to the family. The nursery is done, but I have lots to do today. So, let me get going laundry, cooking, packing, and more await my day!