"Nevertheless he left not himself without witness, in that he did good, and gave us rain from heaven, and fruitful seasons, filling our hearts with food and gladness."
It's raining here today, and the weather forecasters are saying it will continue through the weekend. The rain comforts me as I grow older, especially after the triplet's pregnancy. I believe it's because I feel God is washing away my worries and grief as I watch him wash the earth. In Matthew 6:34 He said, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." God reassures us that worry and anxiety is not a characteristic that a follower of Christ should exhibit. And, I'm being reassured of that so much with this pregnancy. Chris and I've felt God tell us to be silent and still so much throughout this 1st trimester. When I was told that I should go on hormone support, when I was 1st pregnant, I felt God saying 'No, I brought you this far and you will trust in me". We felt led with our prior pregnancies to use the God given medical technology to allow us to have children as we felt him saying I gave you this, use it, I'll make it easy, just lean on me and I'll carry you through this trial. Now, God has used this pregnancy to prove over and over how he CAN make huge miracles happen. We've been so thankful to see what it's like being given a child with no medical intervention and wow what a miracle! This pregnancy hasn't been all easy, in the beginning it didn't seem like things were developing as they should. However, we decided to be patient and trust in His plan to give us a child. Eventually, after many ultrasounds and blood work we saw that little blessing with its beating heart. Then, due to the damage to my cervix from the previous 2 pregnancies we were told something should be done to help prevent another extremely premature delivery. So, after much prayer we felt God telling us to choose the procedure that was least complicated. Yesterday I had my cerclage, and it went well. The hardest part of the day was entering Labor and Delivery at Richland. Chris and I have what seems to be Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as that is where I spent 3 weeks in the hospital before and after the triplet's birth. There were good and bad memories on that unit, and everything came back to us as we walked through the double doors. The smells, sounds, and sights almost overwhelmed us. However, God provided yet again and calmed our fears with an awesome medical staff. We were treated wonderfully, and it was very comforting to see familiar faces. I experienced more pain than I had anticipated, with the cerclage, as my last one wasn't as involved as this one. I also experienced what seemed to be some contractions while in recovery. However, everything calmed down and I was sent home late yesterday afternoon. God was so good, and my nausea subsided for the day which was awesome especially since I wasn't allowed to eat for almost 15 hours. Normally, with this pregnancy, my fasting would have resulted in my being sick. I'm to take it easy for one week, but can resume taking care of the boys on my own on Monday. And, my doctor said I can go to Bradley's 1st soccer game this Sunday! Yay! Also, through this surgery God showed my doctor that I absolutely can't deliver this baby normally and must have a c-section. He said there is way too much scaring in the cervical and birth canal area, and to avoid my losing too much blood we should definitely opt for a c-section. I think that explains where my recent bleeding was coming from too. I was only given a spinal during the procedure and had to remain fully awake to avoid any problems with the baby. I had an awesome nurse anesthetist that continually asked if I was alright and when he realized that I wasn't completely numb quickly gave me some pain medication. So, all in all it was a good day. I go back to the doctor in one week to have an ultrasound that will check my cervical length. Oh, and they did an ultrasound before and after the surgery to check on the baby. It looked good, moving lots with a fast heartbeat in the upper 160's to 170's.
Along with God teaching us not to worry, and "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7, he has given us another trial to lean on Him. We got a call from the genetic counselor earlier this week in regards to the 1st trimester screening. The blood work, 2 different blood tests, came back elevated. It is purely a screening, it isn't a definite saying that the baby will or will not have one of these genetic abnormalities. It screened for Trisomy 13 and 18 which results in a child having many severe abnormalities, and they generally don't make it to birth and if so pass away soon afterwards. It also screened for Down's which is where our baby shows an increased risk. So, now we just have to wait and see the outcome. We're confident in God's plan and His will. Whatever His plan, he'll give us strength and grace to persevere through any trials. The hymn, Amazing Grace, comes to mind and the first few verses reminds me that God will carry us when we are weary as He always has.
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
The Lord has promised good to me,
His word my hope secures;
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.
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